A Data Point
I had
occasion to recall an incident of my youth in a Quora thread. I repeat it here to establish a
reliable historical record.
When I was young, I walked
in my sleep. Once while I was at college I woke up with muddy feet, dressed
only in a tuxedo jacket. What was especially alarming about that was that at
the time the campus was being terrorized (if that’s the right word) by some guy
who urinated in the dead of night on the flower beds in front of the women’s
dorms. I was afraid I might have been the mad pisser (as people called him).
Fortunately for me, the real mad pisser kept getting madder and soon revealed
himself in broad daylight by urinating from a bell tower on a passing
philosophy professor.
In the Quora thread,
somebody misunderstood the story and asked “Philosophy Professor? That seems
most appropriate. Why did they consider him mad?” I responded:
The philosopher professor
certainly wasn’t mad. In fact he was a rather eminent man in his field—he’s got
a Wikipedia page—and was regarded with great respect and affection by the
students and faculty. His moral earnestness—I almost wrote innocence—did strike
some of the more irreverent among us as amusing, which probably accounts for
the “improved” versions of what happened at the end of the mad pisser saga. The
story ran that eyewitnesses saw the prof holding out his palm as if to see if
it were raining and then looked up… That picture is almost too perfect, and I
didn’t include the detail in the interest of journalistic accuracy. It is mere
hearsay. On the other hand, it is true that the bell tower, a then recent
addition to the school paid for by a rich alumnus named Smith, was known
locally as Smith’s last erection.